


If Today Was Your Last Day

by thesilverwitch



Category: Marvel
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-28
Updated: 2011-10-28
Packaged: 2017-10-25 01:04:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/269987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesilverwitch/pseuds/thesilverwitch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You never know when you might die, and Tony can't stand the thought of dying without at least telling Steve how he feels.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If Today Was Your Last Day

Tony couldn’t sleep. The adrenaline had long left him, leaving his body numb and his mind with a tremendous headache, but every time he closed his eyes images of today’s fight kept springing up in his brain like a sick virus that never dies.

The blood running down his Iron Man suit, blood that neither belonged to him or his enemies; the innumerous bodies of innocent people that died in a fight that didn’t belong to them, didn’t belong to anyone. The screams of terror as the bright flames consumed the whole city around him. It was hell, and Tony still didn’t know how he and the Avengers had won, much less how they had survived it. But he was glad they had.

Nevertheless, joy doesn’t quiet the mind, and Tony kept getting more frustrated with himself as each second passed. He silently wondered how much he would have to drink to pass out…

If only he was brave enough to drink though. But he wasn’t, not anymore. He had promised Steve he would stop. 

Noble, valiant Steve whose smile could illuminate the whole planet earth and whose body filled Tony’s impossible fantasies. Perfect and straight Steve, who everyone had a crush on, and who Tony was stupidly in love with.

Steve was probably in his bedroom at the moment, alone in his too big to be a normal bed, sleeping peacefully. Or maybe he was like Tony, painfully awake and accurately aware of everything that had happened that day. Maybe he was feeling lonely, just like Tony was. And maybe all he wanted was some company, someone to talk to.

On that second Tony felt an inexplicable urge of going up to Steve and kissing all of the other man’s problems way, which was ridiculous since he didn’t know how Steve felt about him or if he was even awake. But just the possibility of him being alone and miserable in his room, with no one to talk to, made Tony decide on what to do.

As a man of science he knew there was a chance, even if a very small one, of Steve liking him back. And right now Tony was feeling hopeless, confused and tired, all of which he could use as an excuse to explain himself in the likely case that Steve didn’t want him. Lying in front of him right now was his only chance of kissing Steve like he desired to, and getting away with it. And Tony was going to take it.

With that rush of confidence in himself and determination, Tony left his comfortable bedroom to meet Steve.

-

As he travelled the short distance between his and Steve’s bedrooms in Avenger’s mansion, time seemed to slow painfully down.

Tony felt accurately aware of all of his thoughts and movements, what he was going say, how Steve would respond, how fast it would take for him to flee Steve’s bedroom… He decided it would be a better course of action to not think about what he was going to do when the idea of going back to his safe and cozy room appeared in the middle of all his jumbled thoughts.

Instead he thought of how handsome Steve was, of how he felt when sometimes Steve touched his arm when they were talking and how Steve made Tony feel like he was truly worth something.

Happy, pleasurable thoughts that would make him walk forwards to meet Steve because Tony wasn’t going to run away, not this time.

Before Tony even knew it, he was knocking at Steve’s door, taking deep breathes to calm himself and focusing on what he was going to do. The seconds between him knocking on the door and Steve answering were probably the longest in Tony’s whole life, and it took a lot of willpower for him to continue standing there when all of his body was screaming to run and run now while there was still a chance.

Luckily, Steve answered before Tony had the chance to do anything.

He was wearing a white tank top and blue stripped pajama pants; from his blood shot eyes and battered face Tony deduced Steve hadn’t been able to sleep either. Steve looked mildly shocked to see Tony standing there, and the only thing Tony could think of before moving himself and closing the short distance between them was that he was about to get much more surprised.

“Tony what are-“ Steve’s sentence died short in his mouth as Tony grabbed him furiously by his strong hips and pulled them together until their bodies were touching in all the right places.

Steve’s lips were soft, and pliant beneath Tony’s. You would have thought that a man who spent 70 years under the ice would have more chapped lips, but no, they were perfect, just like everything else in Steve’s body. His mouth was opened slightly and Tony didn’t ask before he shoved his tongue inside of it, licking anything that his tongue could touch. If this was the last kiss he and Steve were ever going to share, _he was definitely going to enjoy it._

Unfortunately the kiss died rather too soon for Tony’s liking, he would have to find a way to go longer without oxygen for the future, not there was going to be any future where he would need the extra oxygen... Steve had barely moved during the kiss, only producing a strangled sound in the beginning and then freezing like a statue as Tony devoured his mouth. 

Well, it’s not like Tony had actually expected for him to reciprocate, but he couldn’t deny that he would have enjoyed it more if Steve had shown any kind of reaction at all. Still, a shocked Steve meant Tony had the time to put himself back together.

Tony had prepared a whole speech in his mind, but he did it too quickly and without preparing himself for all the possible outcomes of kissing Steve. One of those outcomes was for Steve to look directly into Tony’s eyes while Tony talked.

He had excepted Steve to be embarrassed with the only thing, and for him to be looking down on his shoes like little boys did when they broke their mother’s vase. The thing he had failed to see was that Steve was Captain America, a brave man who fought in WWII, not a little 7 year who still peed his bed at night.

All of Tony’s plans to pretend that the whole thing was an accident dissolved right then and there, and Tony’s mouth decided it would be for the best if he told the simple truth before his brain caught on to what was going on.

“I like you Steve. I like you more than I should, and I’m sorry because I know you don’t like me, not in the same way as I like you. But today was the worse day of my life and I think you should know how I feel and I’m hoping we can still be friends.” 

All of his words came out bit jumbled and a part of Tony really hopes that Steve understood everything he just said, because God knows he would never be able to do it again; but another part of him wishes that Steve had gone deaf on those short seconds and that he still doesn’t know how Tony feels about him, which means Tony can run and pretend this whole thing never happened.

“ _Why would you like me?”_ Steve’s question is asked with so much sincerity it leaves Tony feeling dumbfounded for a couple of seconds. Of all the things he had predicted Steve to say, this was really not one of them. It was such an unusual thing to ask, and it only made Tony realize how Steve was anything but the man the old photos portrayed him to be.

Steve was different, and he was so much better than anything Tony had ever dreamed of before. He was brave and daring; he knew where his heart lied and he always followed it, even if it meant he was going against everyone and everything. He believed in people, he genuinely had hope for humanity, something Tony was never able to fully grasp himself. And he was beautiful, simply beautiful in all the ways you could possibly think of.

And Tony was saying all those things aloud without even realizing it.

His mouth sometimes worked on its own accord, and damn his stupid mouth that worked before Tony could process what was going on. It only happened in very rare occasions, when Tony was feeling very very nervous and he was in the company of someone truly important to him. It made Tony wish he was born mute so that his ability to utterly humiliate himself in front of the people who mattered in his life disappeared.

He watched carefully as Steve’s face displayed the numerous emotions he was feeling. Confusion, comprehension, happiness and finally a mix of emotions that Tony could only describe as “Cap’s super-determination face”. Unfortunately the billionaire wasn’t quick enough to understand the meaning behind that look because as quickly as Tony had pulled Steve towards him, Steve was pulling roughly at Tony’s shirt and they were kissing once again.

This time though, Steve was anything but unresponsive.

Their kiss started gently, with their lips touching lightly and barely moving. This lasted for about five seconds, it was until Steve licked Tony’s bottom lick and didn’t bother to wait for a response before pushing his tongue into Tony’s mouth, making the shorter man lose the notion of what was going on.

Tony was only aware that their position had changed when his back hit the wall and he felt Steve’s strong arms holding him up. It was a good thing he didn’t have to rely on his legs for support since the way Steve sucked on his tongue made his knees wobble and his mind go slightly fuzzy. 

Tony had been sure someone born on the 40s, someone like Steve, would be completely inexperienced in the area of kissing. But as a slow, torturous moan escaped his lips he quickly realized if anyone was going to look inexperienced tonight, it wasn’t going to be Steve.

Steve’s hands travelled across Tony’s body, taking a little extra time on certain locations when Tony seemed to be more responsive, which Tony thought to be quite a feat since he was now moaning shamelessly into Steve’s touch. That was until Steve’s hand reached the edge of his pants, and Tony remembered that Steve hadn’t actually told him how he felt.

For all Tony knew, Steve was just taking advantage of him. And even though that was something Steve would probably never do, Tony needed to know his true intentions otherwise he didn’t think he was able to go any further. He wouldn’t be able to kiss Steve again, if he knew he was just being used by the one he had feelings for. That’s a mistake Tony Stark would never commit again.

“Wait, wait.” Steve’s hands reached an abrupt end as he looked expectantly into Tony’s face. 

“What is it?” Tony was momently distracted by the way Steve’s skin glinted with sweat in the room’s low lighting, making him almost look like an angel.

“I can’t do this if it doesn’t mean anything to you. I- I need to know how you feel.” 

It’s hard to express how humiliated Tony felt at that moment, being reduced to talking like a teenage girl who stuttered when she got nervous. He had given so many conferences to thousands of people, talked to leaders of the world while drinking a brandy and not once had he _stuttered_!

And now here he was, blushing and stuttering and spilling all of his feelings in front of Captain America who was looking at him as if he was a being of another planet.

“Of course I like you Tony.” Replied Steve with a cheeky grin, and Tony didn’t even know the man could grin like that but it didn’t matter because Steve had just said he liked him too which meant Tony was right, and they were kissing again and their bodies were rocking against each other now and _oh the friction._

It was like a personal gift from God except much better, having Captain America, the man from Tony’s fantasies, kissing him and maneuvering him towards the bed, slowly stripping away all of his clothes and Tony just let him because he still couldn’t believe this was all real, that Steve really liked him, and they probably had to discuss this whole affair later but not now, definitely not now.

What Tony most noticed about them being together, was how Steve treated him with so much care. Even has he tugged Tony’s shirt from his body, he was careful not to hit Tony’s reactor, careful not to tug with too much strength and it made Tony wonder if there was a time when Steve hadn’t been so careful with the ones he had sex with, or if maybe, he was special.

He was naked before Steve had even taken off his shirt, though that didn’t seem to bother Tony since it meant he had just won a free ticket to watch Captain America strip on top of him, with a leg on each side of Tony’s body.

After seeing Steve push away his too-tight-to-be-normal thank top, everything became a mix of feelings, touches and moans. He completely lost track of time, his mind only focused on the way his skin prickled and how Steve’s mouth felt against him.

That delicious mouth and distressing tongue, teasing Tony into oblivion. He was only vaguely aware of the scrutiny that came out of his mouth, though he was able to notice how Steve’s eyes darkened when he screamed how much he wanted Steve to suck him, how much he liked it and how he had dreamed of it; jerked himself off at nights thinking it was Steve’s mouth on him and not his own hands.

Steve didn’t let him cum from just the blowjob, holding his dick in an almost painful grip as he stretched Tony open with his long, calloused fingers and if Tony wasn’t moaning loud enough for the whole mansion to hear before, he was definitely doing it now.

“Please Steve, do it. I’m ready, _please._ ”

The final “please” that came out sounding more as a moan than as a word seemed do it for Steve, who was quickly placing a condom in his cock and shoving himself into Tony before the other man could say anything else. 

His whole body shook as he tried to control himself, to not push into Tony too forcefully. It certainly didn’t help that Tony had decided to rock himself against Steve instead of waiting for him to move.

And then Steve was the one moaning. With his head thrown back and his body shimmering in front of Tony, he quickly picked up the pace and make Tony feel like he was burning inside out, a luscious burn that filled him with pleasure. It didn’t take long for white spots to dance in front of his eyes while he screamed Steve’s name into the air.

He collapsed tiredly onto the bed, and Steve only had to push inside and out a couple more times before he came in a long, silent scream.

They both fell asleep shortly afterwards, they would have time to talk in the morning.


End file.
